Sales Funnels, Toxicity, and Sanctions
Toxicity. That was the word that Dr. Yorio used when I asked him why they only put patients on the Yervoy for a 12 week period. Yervoy is one of the two immunotherapies that I'm on to get this fight started. It's been described as "lighter fluid for the immune system". It encourages your immune system to get it's T-cells fired up to (hopefully) attack the tumors. But it also attacks other stuff. The side effects ramp up over time and that's become apparent to me after dose #2.
So we're two down with two to go on the Yervoy, and hopefully things get easier after that. Next treatment will be right before our trip to Europe with the final treatment right after. I'll have steroids to help me manage the side effects while we're on the trip. Hopefully they work. It'll be a busy few days in late September as we'll get back from Europe late on the 27th, CT scans on the 28th, and the 4th treatment and consultation with Dr. Yorio on the 29th. The consultation is where we'll get the results of the CT scans.
The CT scans will provide the first look at the tumors since the initial diagnosis in June. That's moved up a few weeks from what we were expecting. I assumed it was 12 weeks following treatment, but it's really 12 weeks following the last CT scan. Hopefully we'll have something to celebrate.
How I’m feeling
I get asked how I'm feeling all the timing now. Amy asks me throughout the day and responds to any odd sigh that I may have. Colleagues ask me. Friends check in via text. My sister calls and checks on me at least once a week. It's not too much – I appreciate that everyone cares and it reminds me of all of the support that I have.
It is something that is hard to answer, though. It's another version of the Uncertainty Principle. The answer can depend as much on what I want the asker to hear vs. how I'm actually doing. I generally like to promote an image of strength and vitality. My answer will also vary (as anyone's would) if it's my sister vs. if it's a colleague. I also hate being a downer.
The reality is that I haven't felt 100% in a long time, and I don't expect to feel 100% for a long time to come. The latter is more daunting than the former. Some days it's 80%, some days it's 60%. I fatigue easily, particularly from exercise. That part has gotten worse following the second dose of the Yervoy. The other side effects and symptoms ebb and flow. A new one is that I have puffy lips and they are sensitive to spicy food and citrus. I emailed Dr. Yorio about that this morning.
Today, I feel about 80%. Nothing that I've faced so far has kept me from being able to function in most tasks – I take more breaks and don't go as hard as I normally would, but I can still climb most hills. That's the approach we'll take to the Dolomites.
What I'm thankful for
I brought up the support I've gotten from work in a recent post. That was before they sent me a care package that included a very thick book with notes from people across the business. I was choked up reading it. Many of them were personal – about the friendships we've built, the career development I've helped support, someone who came back to ABM for the opportunity to be on my team, inside jokes and even a recipe. It was very humbling and made me reflect on how fortunate I am to be a part of this place.
A memory
I spent my 20s with limited success on the girlfriend front. Anytime I'd meet someone, I wasn't sure what I did to make it happen or what I needed to do to make it happen again. But slowly, I got my act together. I quit smoking, got into decent shape, advanced in my career, built up a little confidence, and remained tall. Girls like those things. I started internet dating in my late 20s. It was in the earlyish and innocent days, before swiping left and right, before geolocation and casual hookups.
When I made the plunge into internet dating I was able to build a decent profile. I made a nice enough living, had some photos that showed that I traveled a good bit, and I could twist a word or two together to show that I had some sort of sense of humor. Oh, and I remained tall. That helped. Being tall helps.
I also learned that I needed to manage it sort of like a sales funnel, which sounds crass, but isn't.
(1) Prospecting – I needed to cast a wide enough net to get some real opportunities. I'd send messages to ~10 women that caught my interest. The messages would need to be unique and interesting enough so that I stood out. They'd be targeted to something in their profile. A place she'd been, a hobby we shared, or something I'd see in a photo. Messages that were witty, specific, and short would get the best response rate. Quality prospecting was more important than volume, but volume mattered. The more targets, the more likely for more responses, but there's no success in throwing slop at the wall. 10 good messages in an hour were better than 30 bad messages in an hour.
(2) Qualifying the Opportunity – These are prospects that have responded and shown interest. I'd get email responses from a few of the prospects that I targeted, hopefully with enough to go on to continue the conversation.
(3) Opportunity Development – Follow up emails that were a bit more in depth, and helped identify for both parties if there was enough of a connection to move to the next stage. The right number of emails here was three. Anything less, and my success rate for dates would drop and/or the likelihood of going out on a bad date would increase. If she responded to three emails, she was interested and would say yes to a date.
(4) Proposal – This is where I'd email the Qualified and Developed opportunity and ask her out for a date. If the proper development work had been done, the answer would be yes. I would usually ask for a nice dinner out somewhere.
(5) Close the deal – No, I don't mean that. I mean, figure out someone that I'd see exclusively. I liked to get to this stage pretty quickly, and before anything intimate would develop.
When I first started internet dating, I figured out the rhythm to it pretty quickly – I'd get out of it what I put into it. Work the pipeline up front, get a few good dates, and meet someone that I wanted to spend a lot more time with. The funnel needed to start out with a wide net in order to find someone that was a good fit. I went out on a lot of internet dates, and a few really good relationships came out of it. One great one.
Amy and I met on Match.com in June of 2013. You can throw out everything above because she reached out to me first. She had the confidence to make the first move. I was caught right away, first by her photos – one where she was doing handstands with her friends in Sea Girt, another where she was wearing a backless dress, another where she was on the steps of some place in Puerto Rico – all of them with her Cameron Diaz smile. Her profile spoke about manatees on yacht balconies. I was into it.
Second, I was caught by her wit. She emailed me about stinking bishop cheese and whether or not either of us would drink yak milk. We emailed about honoring salmon and the slowing rotation of the earth, and that if the world does stop spinning, the best spot to be is where the sun sets.
And we made plans for our first date at the Lambertville Inn. It was about halfway between Amy in Princeton and where I lived in Glenside. I got there first and ordered a glass of Reisling. Amy would judge me for this – a sweet white wine! – but I stand by the decision. Beer is not sophisticated. Liquor suggests there may be a problem. Red wine, and I'd stain my teeth. First impressions matter.
Amy walked in and she looked amazing. She was in an orange and white dress. We had a drink at the bar and the conversation was as witty as the emails. We moved to the restaurant for dinner with a view of the Delaware River. We lingered and got to know each other a bit. I walked her to her car and she pulled me in for a kiss. She had the confidence to make the first move. Again.
The next day we were in touch. It took a couple of weeks for our next date because Amy was off to Wimbledon with Karen and Kayla and then to shoot a commercial in Florida. She was interesting and exciting (still is). We texted a bunch during the time between dates.
I was done with the sales funnel.
What I'm looking forward to
We're less than 3 weeks from our trip to Europe and I'm looking forward to the food. I've been scouting out and booking some restaurants. Pro tip – the Michelin Guide app provides both Michelin starred restaurants and (my favorite) their "Bib Gourmand" restaurants. The Bib Gourmand restaurants are much more accessible, easier to book, and don't break the wallet. With a little planning, it really helps you avoid the tourist traps.
I'm looking forward to the prosciutto, bolognese, balsamic vinegar, and tortellini in broth in Bologna and Modena, the speck and dumplings in the Dolomites, and the unique wines paired with the bounty of the Mediterranean in Croatia. Giddy Up.
Something I recommend
I think Amy is ready for me to stop talking about "The Last Ship". I'll try to make this the last time I mention it, but it probably won't be. It's trash. It's important to note that it's trash. It's executive produced by Michael Bay, which brings some serious professionalism to the action scenes – there are good fight scenes, special effects, and tension. Michael Bay also consistently brings professionalism to trash. Peter Weller (Robocop) shows up in Season 4, which will be enough for some of my friends (Carl) to dive in head first.
It's on Netflix. Each episode is about 40 minutes. It covers global pandemics, coups, conflicts with China, Latin America, Russia, and Al Qaeda. Conspiracy theories, eugenics, and crop failure. Also enough naval strategy for me to confidently challenge anyone who reads this to a game of Battleship.
Lower your expectations, dive in head first, and prepare to be hooked.
What I ate
This past Saturday we had a nice dinner out at Comedor, which was highlighted by bone marrow tacos. I also had a cocktail as Dr. Yorio indicated that I didn't need to be a complete teetotaler. Dinner was followed by seeing some live music at the side bar at ACL Live with Aara and Ambrose. We caught the Damned Torpedoes (Tom Petty Cover band) with a great opening act, the Vindy's. The lead singer of the Vindy's was brought out to sing "Stop Draggin' my heart around" with the Torpedoes. Really fun night out, though I also realized that the meds are taking their toll. I was exhausted by the end of it.
Random thought
Can we stop putting sanctions on other countries? Have they ever worked? It's been a favorite tool in the tool kit for every US President and they just don't work. The economic impact hits the poorest people the hardest. In the worst cases, people go hungry. The intellectuals that could drive change in these rogue states are either imprisoned or emigrate. The strongman take control of the media and drive the narrative that they are victims of America (the Great Satan). And the strongman stays in power.
Cuba – sanctions since 1962: the Castros still in power
Iran – sanctions since 1979: Khamenei, the hardline clerics ,and revolutionary guard still in power
Iraq – sanctions from 1990 until 2003: Saddam only falling after a second war
North Korea – sanctions since the 50s, with additional sanctions since 2006: The Kims are still in power
Venezuela – sanctions since 2017: we had to kidnap Maduro
Russia – sanctions since 2014: Putin still in power
What are we doing here, people? It's clear that sanctions do not result in the desired change. Worse, they potentially embolden and tighten the strongman’s grip on power. What other world leaders have this staying power? How much quicker would the Cold War have ended if the citizens of the USSR had blue jeans, rock and roll, and Big Macs? If they saw our movies and way of life?
I've often joked that capitalism is the worst -ism except for all of the other -isms. If we truly believe that our way of life – a free media, free flow of commerce, free speech and religion – is truly a better -ism, won't we be more effective at driving change by trading with and consequently integrating our systems in their economies? Wouldn't the free flow of people through commerce start to bring our way of life to these places?
And perhaps sanctions are the worst idea except for all of the other ideas. I mean, we have to do something, right? The international community understandably wants to punish bad actors, and that's what they're trying to do. They feel like they need to do something, and they'd prefer not to send the soldiers, bullets and bombs. And if we don't do something, it'll encourage even more dictators and strongmen to act badly. But it doesn’t seem to be working, and I'm skeptical that it's a real deterrent. In all of these cases we've sent, if not our soldiers, our bullets and bombs. Even if we haven't had direct conflict, we've sent hundreds of billions of dollars, weapons and intel to Ukraine, performed joint military exercises and equipped South Korea, blockaded Cuba, and on and on and on.
If we want the revolution to come from within, wouldn't we all be better off if we just sent them iPhones, Bugs Bunny, and Nerds Gummy Clusters?
